Friday, 29 August 2008

It’s a dog’s life

Each and every unemployed Wightman has 2 CVs; the one he writes for himself, and the one written for him by the media led populace. Who would employ a man if his CV had entries such as: “work shy”; “dirty and rude”; “drunken layabout”; “benefits fraud”; “untrustworthy”; “criminal”? And what chance of securing a job interview, when your two referees are Ms Fear and Mr Greed. This self fulfilling prophecy ensures the victims are not only blamed for their bad fortune, but condemned to further persecution by the pejorative label ‘unemployed’: “Give a dog a bad name and hang him.”

A moments thought as to who would willingly choose to be poor, and you might question the validity of blaming job seekers for their predicament. You might ask who benefits from this scurrilous and mendacious chorus of blaming the poor for their poverty? The answer is those shallow and insecure parvenues amongst us, whose need to curry favour from the orthodox mob, helps console them for the betrayal by their own conceit; and the greedy, who are never satisfied until they have secured for themselves every last crumb.

In our free market, ask yourself what an efficient economy means, if not the ever greater gain for the minimum of outlay; and does that not imply down-sizing the work force in both number and wages. If so, then there is the true blame for unemployment and the strife of workers; the greed that got Wightmen sacked yesterday, and then treats them as scapegoats today, to cover the shame of maximum profiteering. Where most of those profits go abroad in the expanding markets of the tiger economies; the rest goes into the public sector as tax, and the civil service grows like a giant incurable cancer, in danger of becoming larger than the ailing patient it feeds upon. The public sector ship is so full of rats, that they are the cause of its sinking. Such a neurotic environment will not be open to Wightmen, as the sisters union has closed the hatches to them; women and minorities first, de jure now, de facto before.

What of the many jobs advertised in the County Press each week? They are but the ephemeral vacancies, likened to ‘musical chairs’ played by the unhappy workforce that jumps from one lowly paid job to another, at the tune of “Things can only get better”, played on a Chinese manufactured jukebox. The unemployed rarely get invited to play in this game, except as a cameo bogeyman, to frighten naughty children to play nice.

And is it beyond your understanding that some of these once proud men, betrayed, and in a fit of despair, should ‘throw the helve after the hatchet’, and become the very pariahs that modern society seeks to hate? Lucky for you that most unemployed Wightmen are civilized individuals; lucky for you they aren’t 4000 angry miners; or shipbuilders; or steelworkers; with a unified belligerence, that might take grievous offence at being blamed.

But help is at hand in the guise of the government’s Department for Works and Pensions, which fund various support agencies that teach the job seekers to better apply themselves. We need to sell ourselves more; an honest CV just wasn’t good enough, you need to be better than honest. Maths isn’t good enough either, it’s far too judgemental; you need to know the new democratic numeracy rules, such as: the DWP employs 85% women, which proves relatively that equality and diversity works, even if you’ve been removed from the equation, so that you can’t. And minimum wages aren’t low enough, you must be willing to earn your giros via community service, thus stealing the punishments meted out to petty criminals, so as to atone for your sin of poverty: “Hungry dogs eat dirty pudding”.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

No comments: